The Beginning of Being a "Big Girl"

One year ago I walked into the local gym and talked to a personal trainer. As I stood there looking around I was a little amazed that I wasn't the only overweight person there -Duh! It is a gym - But, I was definately the biggest one there... We had a consultation and talked about my goals and took some measurements, then I faced the dreaded scale. 386.4lbs (Are you freakin' kidding me??)

I had no idea I'd gotten to weigh that much! I did realize that I was pushing on the biggest size that any plus store carried but when you look at the numbers you truely feel ashamed. Looking at me, no one would ever guess I weighed that much, I'm almost 6' tall and my weight is "evenly distributed" so I'm just big all over. But that day was when I made a decision to get skinny. (Ok, I'll probably never be skinny... but let's not be dream killers just yet!)

So from then on, almost 3 days a week I met with a personal trainer.... who I hated most days, but came to love. And, here I am one year later.... weighing in at 346.6. Just about 40lbs in a year... it doesn't seem like much, but I have more going against me than Zaxby's french fries and dollar taco's at my favorite Mexican place. I have PCOS. (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrom) Because of this my body is insulin resistant - meaning that my body thinks it's diabetic. It's something that is common and you are born with and have to deal with forever. The problem is that it's hard to diagnose. But once you know, you can start to control it.... or let it control you...

By now I wanted to lose double what I have.... I've taken just about every over the counter diet pill.... bought DVDs.... and tossed and turned thinking about weightloss surgery. Every Friday I head to the gym and face the dreaded weigh in. Some times I'm stoked because I've worked off a pound or two, other times I'm in tears because I've gained three more. Talk about an emotional roller coaster.

Welcome to my journey out of the land of plus sized clothing :)